Daily life

What is Bipolar Disorder?

March 30, 2018 by polishhousewife 10 Comments

“At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of. They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.” – Carrie Fisher

Hello Polish Housewife readers,

My name is Rachel, and I’m writing this guest blog to spread awareness for World Bipolar Day. Some of you may remember that last year my mother wrote a post about why this day is important to her — because I, her youngest daughter, have bipolar disorder. She talked a bit about her struggle to accept that I have this illness and the need for more open conversations about mental illness…. So here I am to contribute to the conversation.

At first when I started writing this, I wanted to summarize the nine years it took for me to get this diagnosis, but the more I thought about it, I felt like a better place to start might be to talk about what is bipolar disorder… Bipolar is an affective (mood) disorder, but like pretty much any other mental illness, bipolar is just a label for a cluster of symptoms. Even within the blanket term of bipolar disorder, there are four main types that describe the variation of episodes someone experiences. Beyond that there are still several more sub-types and classifications, but for now let’s focus on the basics of mood episodes:

Mania: high energy, decreased need for sleep, racing thoughts, grandiosity or extreme irritability, high risk behavior, possibility for delusions/psychosis. Hypomania: similar to mania, but less severe symptoms(no psychosis). Euthymia: a state lacking bipolar symptoms(“normal”). Dysthymia: chronic low mood/mild depression. Major depression: loss of interest/pleasure in activities, sleeping significant more or less than usual, overall depressed and possibly irritable mood, suicidal thoughts (in severe cases psychosis can also occur during this time).

So, if we look at my lovely diagram, we see that BD Type-I(1) is the only one that experiences full blown mania. Often, people with BD-I will also experience depressive episodes, but depression is not necessarily required. BD Type-II(2) experiences episodes ranging from major depression to hypomania. Statistically, people with type-II tend to spend more type in depressive episodes than those with type-I, but again, that’s not always the case. Then we have Cyclothymic Disorder(3), which ranges from dysthymia to hypomania.

If you wanted to continue grouping up these states into affective disorders you would also see Dysthymic Disorder (ranging from euthymic to dysthymic) and Major Depressive Disorder (ranging from euthymic to major depression)… so where’s the fourth type of bipolar that I mentioned earlier?

Honestly I wasn’t sure how to draw it other than putting some squiggly lines with a question mark — Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (BD NOS)… This one is a bit more complicated. There are several sub-types that clarify the nature of this particular diagnosis, but basically BD NOS means that you experience episodes of manic and depressive symptoms that don’t fully meet the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) criteria for any of the other types.

Within all of these there are still more fairly basic classifications to consider… Are there psychotic features present? Mixed episodes? What about the speed of the episodes? As I mentioned, psychosis can occur in mania or major depression. Mixed episodes are when both manic and depressive symptoms occur at the same time — and trust me, that’s physically painful.

Then as far as speed, you have the kind of “standard” cycling which is as many as three episodes per year. These episodes can last months or even years. Four or more episodes in a year then falls under rapid cycling, generally meaning episodes last weeks to months, but then there are still shorter classifications of that. We also have ultra rapid cycling, which means episodes lasting days to weeks… and while four days is the minimum amount of time required for an episode as far as the DSM is concerned, there are still some people who go faster. Although it’s supposedly rare, some people can cycle between episodes within a single day. This is called ultradian cycling.

Why ramble off all of this information? So that you’ll have a bit more understanding of what this means:

Bipolar Disorder Type-I rapid cycling with mixed episodes and mild psychotic features

That’s me. Or at least, sometimes can it feel like that’s me. Without treatment, or when treatment stops working for any number of reasons, it can feel like I’m losing the battle — losing myself — to my illness as it prevents me from functioning. Crippling panic attacks. Uncontrollable sobbing. Suicidal ideation. Overwhelming rushing thoughts. Upsetting and sometimes terrifying delusions… to fight it, I see doctors regularly, adjust my life to follow my treatment plan, and constantly analyze my own thoughts and behaviors looking for any new or worsening symptoms… when so much of what you do revolves around fighting and anticipating to fight an illness, sometimes it feels like it’s taken over. However, my boyfriend really put it best when he found out about my illness and immediately hugged me and said, “I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t define you – it’s just a part of you, and that’s ok.”

It’s a part of me. Always has been, always will be. I will be taking medication for the rest of my life so that I can be at least what I call “relatively stable,” Relatively stable means that my episodes stay mild to moderate, and I’m able to fight them enough to maintain at least an outward appearance of being “normal.” If I absolutely have to cry in the middle of the day, I can hold it back until I reach the bathroom. If I’m feeling like I chugged 5 cups of coffee at 2am and my mind is racing around and around about the possibility of someone breaking into the house, I can keep myself in bed and argue over and over that my dog would bark if anyone was there until my antipsychotic medication kicks in enough to outweigh the mental energy and put me to sleep. I’m not suicidal. I’m not psychotic. My cognitive abilities aren’t horribly impaired. I’m able to be at least reasonably efficient at work, eat a reasonable amount of food, keep myself reasonably entertained, and get a reasonable amount of sleep.

It doesn’t define me, though. Most of the time I am able to function pretty well. I was even in complete remission for most of the last two years. Still, even while unstable, I’m still the same clever, analytical, funny(although sometimes awkward), musically talented person I’ve always been. I’m good at my job, where I repair musical instruments. I’m a decent cook. I practice krav maga and play video games in my free time. I have some close friends and a boyfriend whom I appreciate the hell out of, and I have two cute cats and a Corgi-Papillon mix, who you’d definitely want to pet but probably shouldn’t because he’s a rescue and doesn’t like strangers 😉

I want people to understand that “bipolar” doesn’t mean moody or dangerous. It doesn’t make someone a manipulative liar. It doesn’t mean someone is self-absorbed or stupid, and taking our medication every day certainly doesn’t make us drug addicts… It just means they’re sick. Sometimes more so than others. The disorder can go into partial or complete remission, but it can relapse due to stress, sleep disruption, drug/alcohol use, changes of the season, missing doses of medication, or any number of triggers — which aren’t always apparent. Some people with BD-I are able to function perfectly fine, while people with cyclothymic disorder are completely disabled. Some require one medication, while others require seven. One diagnosis isn’t intrinsically worse than another. It’s just a term to describe a cluster of symptoms.

Being mentally ill doesn’t automatically imply anything about who someone is as a person. It’s just like any other chronic illness. It’s just an extra challenge that some of us are faced with, and to get through it we need determination, education, and compassion.

“I’m fine, but I’m bipolar. I’m on seven medications, and I take medication three times a day. This constantly puts me in touch with the illness I have. I’m never quite allowed to be free of that for a day. It’s like being a diabetic.” – Carrie Fisher

Thanks for reading!

Candlemas Day in Poland and the Thunder Candle

February 2, 2018 by polishhousewife 15 Comments

For Americans, February 2nd is Groundhog Day offering a weather prediction; in Poland, where national holidays are mainly based on the liturgical calendar, it’s Candlemas, 40 days after the birth of Jesus. It commemorates the purification of Mary (in Biblical times, women were seen as impure after giving birth) and the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple (once the mother’s purification is complete, the grateful parents take the child to the temple to give thanks and offer sacrifices), and it marks the end of the Christmas season in Poland. Seriously, this is the day to put away Christmas decorations. Not to worry, after Candlemas, we can begin to think about paczki! Candlemas is traditionally celebrated by the priest blessing the beeswax candles that will be used in the church for coming year, and also blessing candles that the parish will use in their homes.

This has special significance in Poland because of the ancient Slavic protective ritual of the Thunder Candle. It is so significant that the holiday in Polish is Święto Matki Bożej Gromnicznej 🔈, referring to the Holy Mother of God and the Thunder Candles. The ancient Thunder Candles were lit during a storm to offer protection from lightening, and also from wolves.

Thunder candles are long and thick, may be decorated with religious inscriptions or images, fir branches and flowers, tied with a light blue ribbon to represent Mary. Today they are used for special celebrations, and blessed annually on this day to be recharged so to speak. The candle may be a gift at birth and used at First Communion, Confirmation, Anointing, or during a vigil before someone’s death, even being buried with the owner.

And that, my dear friends, is all I know about Candlemas Day in Poland and the Thunder Candle.

Pozdrowiam,

Lois

PS — Yes, I’m taking down our Christmas tree. I just love having it up, so I’ve gladly adopted this Polish tradition!

The Polish Cookbooks in My Kitchen

December 29, 2017 by polishhousewife 18 Comments

I hope you’ve enjoyed time with family and friends over Christmas and want to take a moment to wish you and yours health and happiness in 2018. There has always been something about this time of year that makes me eager to return to structure and routine after holiday festivities. Our youngest daughter, her boyfriend, and her dog left for California this morning, the last of our house guests. On Christmas, there were twelve people and five dogs in and out over the course of the day. Now, Ed is at work, and our pups, Ellie and Rigby are snoozing beside me as I write this. Since, we’re just finishing up leftovers, I thought I’d talk about one of my favorite subjects, Polish cookbooks.

There are eight Polish cookbooks in our kitchen, nine if you count an e-book on sausage making. Two are in Polish; the rest are in English. Fortunately, most of my Polish vocabulary, other than the basic niceties, is centered around food. If there are ingredients I don’t know, google translate can usually fill in the gaps. There are a few tricky things I can clue you in on:

If something translates as protein, they mean egg white
Carnation, that means whole clove
English Spice, we know it as Allspice (usually used whole, not ground)

One of my prize cookbooks isn’t pictured. Treasured Polish Recipes for Americans is out on loan to a colleague. If you’re reading this Stella, I wonder if you’re holding it for ransom until I return your tablecloth?

I thought I’d share a brief review of my books with you and when possible give you a link to purchase (by clicking on the photo of the books below) in case you’d like to add one of these to your bookshelf. The links that are from Amazon are affiliate links, which means simply that if you buy something after clicking on the link, Amazon will pay me a small percentage of your puchase. It doesn’t change your price, and helps to offset the cost of maintaining this website, and I thank you.

My first Polish cookbook was Polish Cookery by Marja Ochorowicz-Monatowa, translated and adapted by Jean Karsavina. The original was published around 1900. It is an American adaptation of a famous standard cookbook in Poland. The measurements are converted for American kitchens. With 53 soup recipes and 18 more recipes for soup garnishes, you know there is a good understanding of Polish cuisine. I’ve made a few recipes from this book and enjoyed reading many more. My one complaint would be that there are no photographs, and the photos are my favorite part of any cookbook.

My second Polish cookbook is one written in Polish that a bought at the train station in Poznan. While I have to translate everyting. I’m happy to say that it has color photos on every page! Regionalna Kuchnia Polaska, as the name suggests, presents recipes from seven different regions of Poland. I used the Rogale Swietomarcinskie from the Kuchina Wielkopolska section along with a baking session with the head of the Baker’s Guild to create my recipe for Poznan’s famous pastry.

My next Polish cookbook was Nela’s Cookbook by Nela Rubenstein, the wife of pianist Arthur Rubinstein. I love this book and reading it makes me love Nela. There are wonderful head notes with every recipe, giving the reader a true feel for this woman and the joy she took in preparing food for those she cared about. New copies are getting pricey, so I suggest selecting a used copy of this book which I highly recommend. The recipes are Polish, Lithiuanian, and American.

Polish Cooking is a small book recommended to by my friend Klaudia and gifted to me by my friend Elzbieta. It is written by Izabella Byszewska and photographed by Christian Parma. Besides recipes, it talks about typical foods for morning, afternoon, and evening. Recipes are identified by region. The color photos are lovely. My one complaint is that in this very small book, it’s probably 6 inches x 6 inches, and half an inch thick, the text is VERY small.

The next Polish recipe book I added to my collection was Wielka Ksiega Nalewek, the Big Book of Tinctures; it is written in Polish. My copy is from 2011, but there are multiple versions out there. This book was recommended to us by our friend Slawek. He mentioned it when we sampled his homemade raspberry liqueur, Maliniak. This book has convinced me that Poles have made an art form of steeping anything and everything in vodka. I’ve made several of the liqueurs. It’s a classic and must have if you enjoy sipping something yummy after dinner that is, of course, good for the digestion.

My next Polish cookbook, From a Polish County House Kitchen by Anne Applebaum and Danielle Crittenden, I was lucky enough to win in a weekly competition hosted by a now defunct English language news website. I’ve cooked from this book more than any other, and enjoy reading the author’s head notes and the many color photos. Anne Applebaum you may know is a journalist who has written extensively about Communism and post-communist society in Central and Eastern Europe. She is married to Radosław Sikorski, a Polish politician and journalist, and they have a Polish country home. It gives me some perverse pleasure that the authors have had some complain about things that are not authentic or traditional, just as I have. Everybody’s grandmother puts her own spin on traditional dishes, and the authors have put their own modern, lighter versions in their cookbook.

I bought Rose Petal Jam because it is similar to something I would like to write one day, part memoir, part cookbook. I have enjoyed reading it but I haven’t cooked from it yet. Perhaps getting off the shelf today, will be what I need to make that happen. Author Beata Zatorska and her husband, photographer Simon Target have done a lovely job with this book. Whether you cook from it or not, you’ll find it a great read. The photos are more than just the food, it’s the countryside, the ingredients, family photos, an armchair peek into Polish life.

If you know an American cook who makes Polish food, chances are they have Treasured Polish Recipes for Americans. It seems to be one of the most popular Polish cookbooks and has been around for generations. I’ve made a few of the recipes, and have found them to be excellent. As I recall (remember this book is loaned out at the moment), this was put together by a group of Polish-American women and the proceeds were originally used to help with relief efforts in post-war Poland.

Polish Sausage, Authentic Recipes and Instructions is my most recent purchase, and one I have only perused so far. It includes a history of sausage making in Poland, a chapter on food safety, and more info on Polish sausages than I would have imagined possible, hot, cold, smoked, fresh, liver, blood, head cheese, you get the idea.

So that’s my lineup. What Polish cookbooks are on your bookshelf?

Pozdrawiam,

Lois

Quilling a paper art that dates back centuries

November 24, 2017 by polishhousewife 2 Comments

If you’re looking for something different to do with family or friends over the holidays, you might want to give quilling a try. Quilling is a centuries old practice of creating designs from rolled strips of paper. Originally done by French and Italian nuns in the 16th and 17th century, then taken up by genteel ladies. It can be as simple or elaborate as you want to make it. It consists of thin strips of paper that are coiled, shaped and glued. You can cut your own paper strips or buy bags of thin strips of pre-cut colorful paper at some craft stores or on Amazon. I’ve used a toothpick to coil my paper, but more serious quillers might use a special slotted tool. The great things about quilling is that it doesn’t take a great deal of concentration, at least at my level of expertise it doesn’t. You putter along coiling paper and holding it in place with little dabs of glue; it’s a peaceful setting in which to chat and reminisce or get to know new friends.

I introduced friends to quilling on a girls night last year. It made all of us more aware and begin to notice quilling when we came across it in other places. Did you see this cool stamp? That’s quilling.

My first quilling experience was in Poland. Sometimes, you just feel pulled to certain things. That’s the way I felt when I saw an open invitation on facebook to come and learn the art of quilling that night. Our leader was a young Turkish woman who was in Poznan as part of a volunteer exchange program. Her focus was on creating art by recycling, so the paper we used was recycled. One of the young Polish women in the group was our quilling expert and brought completed samples to show us, including a blown egg that her grandmother had covered in little colorful paisley patterns.

I must admit, the designs my co-crafters and I created were much simpler than the ones you’ll find on google, but who knows how elaborate my future projects will be, now that I’m experienced. I collected those colorful, glossy paper advertisements that Polish businesses are so fond of passing out of the streets, as in Las Vegas, but in PL they’re for more reputable establishments. These Polish ads will form the basis of my next project. I’ll keep you posted.

Want to give quilling a try? You’ll find all kind of inspiration online, including some basic quilling shapes on YouTube.

Pozdrowiam,

Lois

PS — the original version of this post went live on Tłusty Czwartek or Fat Thursday, the day that marks the beginning of the end of the Carnival season, all over Poland people will feel compelled to eat pączki (PONCH-kee), a very bready, scantily filled jelly doughnut. Yes, I realize my American taste in pastry is showing in my choice of words. 😉 While you can find a variety of fillings, the most traditional is a rose petal jam. Now that I’ve made my own pączki, I like them much more. Homemade is always better! 😉

Thanksgiving in Poland — Expat Holidays

November 10, 2017 by polishhousewife 4 Comments

Thanksgiving is one American holiday that hasn’t crept into Polish culture. The fourth Thursday in November is just another work and school day. It’s a strange feeling to know that your loved ones are gathering on the other side of the world without you. That your extended family’s day will be one of familiar and special traditions while all around you, everyone else is carrying on with their normal day-to-day life. We had several Thankgsgivings in Poland, and celebrated in a lot of different ways. I can’t say that a Thanksgiving abroad is better than one at home surrounded by loved ones; it is different but can be just as memorable.

I didn’t plan anything for Thanksgiving our last year in Poland, but at the last minute, we received two invitations for early Thanksgiving meals on Saturday. They were at different times, so we threw caution and calories to the wind and decided to do both.

Our first meal was with the Poznan International Church, a potluck meal with a very international flavor. There was, of course, turkey. Brooke, my friend from Arizona made sweet potatoes; we brought stuffing, And now it gets interesting; it was an international crowd as the name of the congregation suggests. We had two Indian dishes, some kind of spicy potato dumpling, and and spicy rice. Ed told Prethi, our hostess, it was the best rice he’d ever eaten. I hope she doesn’t think he was exaggerating; he was quite serious. Lots of pies and cakes, and an enourmous tiramisu for dessert. Then we hopped on the tram to make our way to Turkey dinner #2.

It’s customary to remove your shoes when entering a home – the collection as we were leaving turkey dinner #1

Dinner #2 at Sweet Surrender

Our second meal was with the staff and church family at Sweet Surrender, a ministry coffee shop where I used to volunteer in the kitchen. Our friends Monika (our Polish teacher) and James cooked all day, and again it was an international potluck, with favorites from the USA and as far east as Russia and Kazakstan. I would guess that James is in his mid-twenties. Armed with a degree in Christian Education, he’d come to Poland for a year of coffee shop ministry at Sweet Surrender. Shortly after his arrival, he found himself in charge of the coffee shop and the church. So he was part coffee shop manager, part pastor. He’s a very sharp young man and was up to the tasks.

I was so moved by the simple words he shared before we broke bread. It’s not the food on the plate that matters but the people around the table. He wanted everyone to know that he loved us and that Sweet Surrender loves us. Then he read Bible verses about always giving thanks. 1Thessalonians 5:16-18, maybe? Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Amen!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lois

PS – other Thanksgiving posts

An evening meal (after work for our husbands and school for her sons) with my friend Caroline & her family

One year, all of the American’s from Ed’s office took the week off for a road trip

Our daughter has Bipolar Disorder

April 18, 2017 by polishhousewife 14 Comments

World Bipolar Disorder Day

March 30th is/was World Bipolar Disorder Day (WBD); it was established by several international associations to bring awareness to bipolar disorders and eliminate social stigma. The date was chosen because it is the birthday of Vincent Van Gogh, who was posthumously diagnosed as probably having bipolar disorder. It’s a date that is important in my life because our daughter has bipolar disorder.

A little information about Bipolar Disorder from their website:

Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe and different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through from time to time. It is estimated that the global prevalence of bipolar disorder is between 1 and 2% and has been said to be as high as 5% and, according to the World Health Organization, is the 6th leading case of disability in the world. In order to address this global problem, we need a global solution. With support from leading experts from around the world, groups like ANBD, IBPF, and ISBD are supporting efforts to investigate biological causes, targets for drug treatment, better treatments, better methods of diagnosis, the genetic components of the illness, and the strategies for living well with bipolar disorder and this is just the beginning. Collaborations between research and advocacy groups are continuing to grow, and WBD is a tribute to the success of this strategy.

As I mentioned, one of our daughters has bipolar disorder, and she posted five informational items on Facebook over the course of WBD. Her dad and I both picked one or two to share on Facebook. She commented after that it was disappointing that there were few serious comments on the posts. She said that most of our posts and pictures bring a lot of comments. We have a large circle of supportive, encouraging friends, and yet there was nothing. She said that no one wants to talk about it or acknowledge it.

I can’t blame our friends. It was the middle of a busy work week and we just shared without giving our friends any context. That’s what I’m hoping to do here.

Bipolar and our Family

For the longest time, I would say, “our daughter has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.” Can you hear the denial in my choice of words? A doctor thinks she has it. Her mother, that’s another story. I’ve known her her whole life, I’m not so sure. I just wish she’d do what she’s supposed to do! I’ve recently gotten to the point where I’ll say “our daughter has bipolar disorder,” but it has taken several years.

There is so much that’s difficult about mental illnesses. You can’t see it, there isn’t a blood test to confirm it. I like something that Carrie Fisher said to a young fan who was recently diagnosed with bipolar and had asked for advice. In speaking about her own difficulty in accepting her diagnose, she had this to say:

I was told that I was bipolar when I was 24 but was unable to accept that diagnosis until I was 28 when I overdosed and finally got sober. Only then was I able to see nothing else could explain away my behavior.

When the treatments for bipolar seems to help, it just might be bipolar disorder. Our daughter, began to struggle academically early in her high school career. This gifted student, was failing classes, would do her school work, but not turn it in. I would daily get a call from the nurse’s office to pick her up because all she wanted to do was put her head down on her desk and cry.

It became apparent that the status quo wasn’t working. Our pediatrician diagnosed her with depression, gave us a referral to a psychiatrist, and told us she could no longer be our doctor. She didn’t deal with patients who had psych issues. After an adverse reaction to the first antidepressant he prescribed, that psychiatrist refused to see her until she’d been cleared by a pediatric neurologist. Can you imagine how long it takes to get an appointment with a pediatric neurologist in Tucson? About six months; we didn’t bother. One thing I’ve noticed in helping family members who needed care from a mental health professional, is that it can be very difficult to find, and if you need it, you probably don’t have the wherewithal to get it. By the way, her reaction, psychosis, is a common symptom of bipolar disorder when treated with antidepressants.

Fortunately, we found someone willing to treat her with medication and talk therapy. She was off and on antidepressants for the next seven or eight years. With the help of an alternative format charter school, she graduated from high school a semester early, with honors, and was one of the speakers at her very small graduation ceremony. She went on to college.

There were good years and bad years. At one of the low points in her senior year, a mental health professional said, maybe you have bipolar disorder.

Life has gone on from there with a more certain diagnosis and while trying scads of medications. She was on Lithium for a time, until it became toxic. She has been stable for over a year, so it would be proper to say she’s in remission, although she continues on a host of other medications.

She has been hospitalized when she was perceived to be a threat to herself, on short-term disability while attending out-patient treatment during rapid cycling. But through it all, she has managed to take care of herself (she doesn’t live near us), to hold a job steadily for several years, and maintain a relationship with a very understanding man.

Our daughter is not the only member of our family who has bipolar disorder. Some have been diagnosed; in some you just see it.

The Stigma of Mental Illness

In some parts of the world, there is still social stigma associated with cancer. I feel like we’ve moved beyond that in the United States. We don’t blame the patient, we don’t see them as less of a person, we don’t assume that they’ve brought on this disease themselves. Cancer patients can talk openly about their diseases, their prognosis. Their family, friends, colleagues, rally round with support and encouragement. Wouldn’t it be nice if the same were true for mental illnesses?

Our daughter works in a mostly male environment. She is one of the few Americans on staff; her co-workers and supervisors are from Eastern Europe and Asia. They joke about and make insulting remarks about people with mental health issues in a cavalier manner. Her work attendance is excellent, but if things change in the future, if she goes through a more difficult spell, I’m sure she’ll call out with “the flu,” as she did when dealing with Lithium toxicity.

It’s a pity that she can’t be open with these people because this is how they could learn, and possibly change their mindset. They know her to be someone who is intelligent, reliable, and hard-working. If they knew that she had bipolar disorder, and that someday, that might prevent her from being able to come to work, it would challenge their perception that needing a real “mental health day” means one is stupid, lazy, or shirking responsibility.

Bipolar and You?

Bipolar disorder is not rare. I work at a large church. Statistically speaking there are probably 50 individuals on our mailing list who have bipolar disorder, and hundreds more who have a parent, child, or sibling with bipolar, and yet, I’ve felt alone in this regard. Recently, a lay leader in the parish shared that her daughter has bipolar disorder, and that she feels it’s her ministry to offer emotional support to people who are in similar situations. We had a lunch, and shared our stories. There are similarities in our experiences, but, of course, there are differences too.

If this is something you or your loved one are facing, I hope you’re finding support too. You’re not alone, there are others out there, and I hope you’re finding them.

Pozdrawiam,

Lois

James Michener’s Historical Novel, Poland

December 27, 2016 by polishhousewife 11 Comments

As I was leaving Arizona to move to Poland, a friend gave me two books about my new home, one was James Michener’s historical novel, Poland. I must admit that I didn’t start it right away. I’d been leery of Michener’s writing ever since a senior officer in Ed’s squadron recommended Michener’s Iberia to me when we arrived in Spain in the early 1980s.

I checked out Iberia from the base library and renewed it a couple of times. I could not for the life if me get into the book. It remains to this day, one of the few books I’ve started and not finished. As I recall, the book starts with the formation of the geographic land mass that is the Iberian peninsula. There was no dialogue. I work on it for days and was never rewarded with any characters or conversation, ugh!

It was a relief when I finally did open Poland to find people and conversation waiting for me in the first few pages. The story opens with a government official negotiating with farmers about production during the Soviet times.

Then we’re whisked back into the past, to medieval Poland, a land of magnates and serfs. We follow families rich and poor through hundreds of years of history. It was an amazing history lesson!

Key points that I took away:

Polish kings were not Polish, and they were elected!
Serfdom was a form of slavery
Poland saved Europe and Christianity by defeating the Turks in Vienna
Poland ceased to exist, it was taken over by neighboring countries
Very brave people risked their lives to keep the Polish language alive

If your family is Polish, you may think these are things everyone knows, but I certainly didn’t learn them in school. Michener spent four years doing research before he published Poland in 1983. He met with historians, scholars who could tell him about Polish music and other arts, military experts, and clergy who could speak about the history of the church in Poland.

In the end I was glad that I had spent some time in the country before reading the book. It helped me to “picture” things, and knowing a few Polish phrases that were tossed about like Pan and Pani made me feel like I was in on the secret. In case you’re interested in Poland or world history, I highly recommend this book to you.

Pozdrawiam,

Lois

Sweet Charity Dessert Challenge

November 18, 2016 by polishhousewife 4 Comments

We joined hundreds of people for the Sweet Charity Dessert Challenge to sample some of the finest desserts and cocktails in Tucson. The Southern Arizona Arts and Cultural Alliance (SAACA) hosted Baja Arizona’s largest dessert competition to raise funds to support SAACA’s arts therapy programs at the our local VA hospital.

Here you see some spicy flavors of cotton candy.

The fourth annual event featured sweet treats and drinks from twenty-five restaurants, bakers, and mixologists. The servings were much larger than expected considereding how many they were serving and how many we were sampling.

If you’ve never attended, let me tell you that you’ll find a party atmosphere, complete with DJ, music videos, and laser lights in the ceiling. You’ll get to chat across the table with business owners and chefs. They will be happy to tell you about their creations, and answer you questions. You’ll receive a ballot sheet as you arrive and be asked, after making the rounds, to vote for your favorite in multiple categories.

One of my favorites of the evening was a cocktail prepared by the team from the Ritz Carlton Dove Mountain. They served a butternut squash Old Fashioned. The squash was roasted with spices and steeped in a combination of spirits. It reminded me of a Polish tincture, steeping seasonal produce in alcohol! A very familiar process.

The folks from Dove Mountain brought some of the most memorable treats including a frozen Pumpkin Pop and a chocolate panna cotta.

The overall winner for the evening was Rigo’s Restaurant with a chocolate offering.

In my opinion it was an evening full of winners. Attendees got to connect with local business, a win on both sides. Everyone at the Sweet Charity Dessert Challenge got to support SAACA’s no cost arts and writing programming to veterans in poly-trauma, blind rehab and the memory care units, and that is something we can all call a win!

Many thanks to SAACA for providing two press passes for this event.

Breaking Bread: a love feast

May 25, 2016 by polishhousewife 4 Comments

I was away at a conference recently, hosted by the Church Pension Group. They provide for many of the employee benefits at the Episcopal church where I work. We stayed at a church camp/conference center in the lush green hills of North Carolina. We heard about proposed changes in the clergy pension plan; we heard about clergy going back to work after they’ve retired. It can be complicated. One day we experienced a lot of fun exercises that we can take back for our next staff retreat in our local church or diocese, and we also heard from an author, Martha Johnson Bourlakas, who also happens to be the wife of an Episcopal Bishop. She is a modern day Erma Bombeck, taking a funny and touching look at the human condition, and sharing much more than the “Christmas letter” version of her family life. Her book is titled Love Feast, and she talked about experiencing this agape meal, breaking bread, in the Moravian church.

She then asked us to talk at our table about a meal we’d experienced that was full of love. It surprised me that my table mates were struggling to find an example. To be fair, as a food blogger, I write about a lot of my meals, and there’s usually a story about people that goes with them. I have a long list of stories from which to draw.

The story I shared with my table, which they later shared with the entire group was the first meal we had with the Kautz family. Their younger son, Maciek, had interviewed Ed for a radio show he was doing about foreigners in our Polish city (International Poznań). After the interview, Maciek said to Ed that he thought we would hit it off with his parents, and ask if would we come to dinner sometime.

A lot of thoughts ran through our minds after accepting the invitation.

Will the parents speak English or will poor Maciek have to translate the entire time?
Will we really hit it off or will this be an evening full of awkward silences?
Do we need to know more people?

That last one is craziness talking! Of course, we want to expand our circle of friends. We really did hit it off, and Maciek’s parents speak English very well.

We dined outside, in their beautiful garden, had a delicious meal. It’s hard to top Polish hospitality. I later learned our hostess had been nervous about preparing the meal. It seems no one wants to cook for a food blogger. After dinner we sat on the patio for hours chatting and laughing until almost midnight.

We had several more meals together during our time in Poland, and became good friends. Maciek was right. I’m glad he insisted, and that his family was willing to take a chance on us. Sharing a meal, breaking bread, can be such a special event. In no time at all, you can come to adore the people with whom you’re dining.

We will visit Poland again, one of these days, and I know we will spend time with the Kautz family. Every couple of months, I’ll get an email from Maciek’s mother. We’ll catch each other up on our work, family life, travel, and our gardens. Her emails always brighten my day and make the eight time zones between us seem so much smaller.

Breaking bread together, it binds people. How about you? Do you have a love feast story to share?

PS — Maciek’s radio show spun off into a TV show. Here’s a link to an episode Ed did with him at the Polish air base. The episode aired several times, and it always surprised me to be scrolling through the channels and to hear Ed’s voice.

Remembering Smolensk – Six Years Later

April 10, 2016 by polishhousewife 4 Comments

Six years ago today, a Polish military airliner crashed in Smolensk, Russia, killing the 96 souls on board. The passengers were the Polish president, his wife, senior military officers and clergy, the president of the national bank, members of Parliament and others. They were on their way to a ceremony remembering the 22,000 Polish military officers, academics, professionals, clergy and other Polish leaders slaughtered by the Russians at Katyn in 1940. It was only recently that Russia had acknowledged their role in the massacre. For the longest time, when Russia controlled what was taught in Polish schools, young Poles were taught that Nazi Germany had been responsible for the travesty.

This happen before I made the permanent move to Poland. Ed was living there on his own. The tragedy took place on a Saturday. I recall that he had been out of town, maybe visiting our daughter in Berlin, and got call from his employer in the states as he was driving back to Poznań to tell him what had happened. I remember him saying that the streets were eerily quiet that weekend.

It seemed that many people were remembering Vladimir Putin saying “Poland will pay for this.” This being wanting to host NATO missile sites. When I was visiting Poland months later, I found many Poles were sure this crash had been planned by the Russian government.

The plane was trying to land in terrible weather. I remember a few days after the crash, former Polish president, Lech Wałęsa saying that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions; hinting that when he had been president that there had been times when he had ordered his pilot to attempt landings that he shouldn’t have; landings they had been lucky to survive. It appears that was the case here, but luck was not with the pilot and his passengers. A few months before this fateful day, the presidential pilot had “gone around” when attempting to land in Tbilisi, Georgia. The president had made it clear that if the pilot couldn’t put the plane on the ground that he would find a pilot who could, that his career who be over. That may have been the message he was receiving from the Chief of Staff of the Air Force, who was in the cockpit at the time of the crash rather than strapped in his seat for landing. The plane, below glide slope, caught a wing on a wire, severing much of the wing. They didn’t stand a chance.

It was not uncommon in the days after the crash to hear speculation about the future of the country. So many in leadership were lost in one tragic event. Would the country continue? Would neighboring countries try to take advantage of the void in leadership by moving in and taking over? I was surprised by these questions, until I remembered that the current governmental structure in the Republic of Poland was relatively new, and as I learned more about Polish history (Michner’s Poland is a great source), I could see where people would worry about neighboring countries interfering.

The crash at Smolensk was a terrible loss for the country and for the Polish military. Elections were held, the government and the republic carried on, but the military has yet to recover. The Polish Air Force lost its most progressive leaders, visionaries with an eye for change. Command was returned to the old guard, those unwilling to look beyond their Soviet training and mindset. Sadly, mountains of paperwork and official stamps continue to be the order of the day at the expense of improvement.

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